On Trying & Failing

There's been a strange restlessness in me these past few days. Astrologers might point to Mercury going retrograde or Moon & Mars activating the T-square. A shrink might simply label me as being nuts. :-)

I'm trying hard to live in the moment without being plagued by never-ending what ifs. It's hard to arrive at a sense of, "I'm moving on..." with things still pending in the court system. I don't like being at the mercy of others. Will there ever be an end? I've had strange nightmares. I wonder what would happen to Nuriel if something were to happen to me. I look at Nuriel and feel blessed to have her in my life, yet it seems I'm constantly falling short of being the centered, striving, in-the-moment-living parent she deserves.