Courage

One of my favorite verses...

"We must eradicate from the soul all fear and terror of what comes towards Man, out of the future. We must acquire serenity in all feelings and sensations about the future. We must look forward with absolute equanimity to everything that may come. And we must think only that whatever comes is given to us by a world-directive full of wisdom. It is part of what we must learn in this age, namely, to live out of pure trust, without any security in existence - trust in the ever-present help of the spiritual world. Truly, nothing else will do if our courage is not to fail us. And let us seek the awakening from within ourselves, every morning and every evening."

Happy Easter!

When the sun,
from all around the universe,
speaks to my human senses---

And joy,
from the depths of my soul,
unites with light in a vision---

Then thoughts
from the confines of myself
move ever outward
into the vast expanse of space---

And they unite,
however dimly,
the essence of my being
with the being of the Spirit.

(Easter Mood by Rudolf Steiner,
translated by Tom Mellett)

A lovely sunny morning it is here & this is our simple family nest.
May all of you have a blessed day, this day & always.

Fire & Rain

This James Taylor song was one of the first songs Brent played for me on the piano. He had been wanting to play for me for a while. Back In April we sort of never located a piano & when I visited him this past summer, his was way out of tune. We were at a friend's house for dinner - just a few weeks ago, early December. He sat down & started playing. It was so awesome & amazing how he could play by ear & I loved his voice. He played a few songs that night, but this is the only one I remember.

Music Memories

Brent loved to sing. Tell Laura I Love Her was one of his favorites. He loved to sing & play the piano. He was very good at it. I'm not musical at all. Sometimes I sang along with him, sort of like the "off-key harmony." I always loved to listen to him sing.

Once he created a Powerpoint slideshow for me. The Big Brovas song was the background music. He worked on it for a long time and then got frustrated when the tech-impaired-Waldorf-teacher-me couldn't open the file. :-) I didn't get to watch it 'til I came to visit him a few weeks later. It was so sweet.

I loved hearing his kiwi accent. The other day I thought, "I'll never hear is voice again." I kept calling his voice-mail at work. At one point I even left him a message. It was still all so unbelievable. I somehow hoped he would pick up and say, "Hey Brown Eyes." Of course that didn't happen. Eventually I sent out an e-mail to my class parent & her husband . He has a recording studio. He recorded it for me & sent it to me as an mp3 later that night. I'll have it forever.

Grizabella

Daylight
See the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses whither away
Like the sunflower
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day . . .

Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time
I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

Every streetlamp
Seems to beat a fatalistic warning
Someone mutters
And the streetlamp gutters
And soon it will be morning

Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I musn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning

Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is

Look
A new day has begun

Memory
Cats

Fantine

I dreamed a dream in time gone by

When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dreams to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my dreams with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'd come to me
That we would live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from the hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

I Dreamed A Dream

Les Miserables

Faithfulness

The following verse is a verse which - once again - has provided me with opportunity for thought and self-reflection. It is thus a reminder to me to strive to always "remember" the "higher self" in the other, and to let others experience the "higher self" in me, striving to meet people out of love and compassion. Rudolf Steiner of course was a multifaceted genius. To me this verse expresses a wonderful hope; beautiful images to take into the depths of ones soul.

Create for yourself a new, indomitable perception of faithfulness. What is usually called faithfulness passes so quickly. Let this be your faithfulness:

You will experience moments.... fleeting moments.... with the other person. The human being will appear to you then as if filled, irradiated with the archetype of his spirit.

And then there may be.... indeed will be.... other moments, long periods of time, when human beings are darkened. But you will learn to say to yourself at such times: "The Spirit makes me strong. I remember the archetype. I saw it once. No illusion, no deception shall rob me of it."

Always struggle for the image that you saw. This struggle is faithfulness. Striving thus for faithfulness, we shall be close to one another, as if endowed with the protective powers of angels.