Pause & Breathe

Two reasons for not blogging much these days:

(1) There's no denying I'm going through a rough patch. It's best to not blog daily when this happens. I have no intention to rename this blog "A Drowning Fishy." Ha.

(2) I feel like a "naked blogger" with my camera not letting me upload pictures to the laptop.

I will thus spare you the adventures of a naked, drowning fishy - at least for today.

If I Could Turn Back Time...

It is still strange for me to be in places where he has been. Today Noah had a presentation at school & I needed to leave to nurse Nuriel. I sat down in the big hall where school functions take place. It was empty & quiet. And as I sat there nursing her, my eyes tried to find the spot where he sat at a festival last December. Back then the chairs in the room had been arranged in a circle. I remember sitting with my class on the opposite side & us making eye-contact a few times during some very beautiful moments. I did not know then that I was already pregnant with Nuriel. I could pin-point the spot where he sat almost exactly. I kept staring at it as if I expected a big cloud to show up out of nowhere, with him emerging from it... Needless to say that didn't happen.

Yes, grief has been hittin' me intensely these past few days. It's like a wave. Gotta ride it out. At least so far it hasn't had the intensity of one that sends you flying off the surfing board and makes you ache all over as your body hits the water... It's not one of the sobbing ones; it's more like numbness.

Edited to add: After hitting the publish button, I realized it's the 14th today. Nuri is a month old. Time flies!

Meet The Crazy Sane Family

Early evening.

Noah is complaining about the laundry service. He can't find a shirt. Similar to the other night when he couldn't find a pair of clean shorts & I found three in his closet... I tell him he's welcome to do his own laundry if he has a problem with the service I provide. Secretly I hope he will choose that option. It would make my job so much easier! Anyhow. He finds a shirt after all & tells me to feed my attitude to the alligators. (My attitude? Gasp. Yeap. He really said that! Gasp again.)

Nathan is sitting on the exercise ball in the birthing tub & shooting little pellets across the living-room, using a bra of mine as a sling-shot, while reciting a poem of a drunken cowboy who finds himself on a hellbound train. - No! He didn't learn that poem as part of the school curriculum!

Nuriel is screaming. Screaming as in screaming. Her head is fiery red. Her mouth is open so wide & she's so out of it, she doesn't realize that the object of her desire (aka nipple) is already in her mouth! --- I'm (of course, as you can imagine) the calm center of it all. (Yeah, right!)

Do you smell a disaster brewing? I sure did! Because just a few minutes later we were leaving to attend the high school information fair & I really needed Noah to leave a positive impression.

Gasp.

Guess what?

He presented himself as a competent student with social skills & a fine vocabulary. --- Nathan did an excellent job looking like the younger brother who is already interested in his own high school education. --- Nuriel was the sleeping epitome of sweetness.

We are the Sane Family after all. You already knew that, right?

A Handmade Holiday

I'm going to join Tonya over at Plain & Joyful Living in " A Handmade Holiday" - well, sort of. We're keeping things simple, yet not entirely handmade. Noah has been wishing for a wooden chess set. Ideally, I will find a used one "with good vibes" - super-ideally it'll be paid for with a barter situation of some sort. Nathan has been wishing for some art equipment & I will fulfill one of his wishes.

For the handmade portion I'm envisioning a handknit New York Giants hat for Noah & a Chicago Bears one for Nathan. Nuri will get a knitted sheep. Must get her collection going. A half-kiwi-girl needs some sheep! Yes, that's only three projects, but it's all I can handle for now. "A Simple Holiday" is probably more accurate than "A Handmade Holiday."

I'm not finding much time to blog, which is fine. Nuri doesn't nap much during the day, but sleeps *a lot* at night. Works for me. I love spending time with my girl while the boys are at school.

And my camera is PMS-ing again. No pictures 'til it's had some chocolate...

Simply Delicious

A simple somethin' yummy with an afternoon cuppa or as desert.

Cut apples or plums into wedges. Toss in a tablespoon of sugar & flour. For the apples we also add some spices like cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg & ginger. Top with crumbles made from 1/2 cup of butter, 1/2 cup of sugar & 1/2 cup flour. Bake til juicy & smellin' good. Serve with fresh whip cream.

So good!

Noah's Writing Blurb

I attended the "Friday Gathering" at school this morning with Nuriel. Noah's class presented snippets from the Creative Writing block. Here's what Noah shared:

Yesterday I was holding my baby sister. She got hungry, so she started pushing her face against my chest hopefully. When that did not work, she grabbed fistfuls of my shirt and tried to force them into her mouth. Earlier she had been face-planted in my brother's chest. When she couldn't get any shirt into her mouth, she started to fuss loudly so I gave her to my Mom and the problem was fixed.

Sweet, huh? Long weekend ahead! And it looks like sunshine!

Midwife Wednesday

Nuri today in the bed where I often heard her heartbeat during the pregnancy - in my midwife's office. Just such a sweet moment. Nuri needed some belly button love. :-)

Blogtoberfest?

Blogtoberfest. A blog post a day for a month, huh? Oh, all you beer-drinking, partying young whippersnappers who can commit to do such a thing! Have fun! This mid-30s blogging Mama won't be able to keep up with you, but I will sure try & the closer I can get to a daily, interesting, coherent post, the younger I will feel, I suppose. Ha! When not blogging, I will be washing cloth diapers and the oodles of laundry this "I like to spit up at the wrong moment" girl produces. Or I'll be keeping a family feud from turning bloody & deadly. - Thank goodness the Bears (Nathan's team) only play the Giants (Noah's team) twice a season. Oh, and in between I'll be working on three pilot hats... This lil' bonnet I stitched up over the weekend. It has some flaws & it's unblocked, but this girl looks cute in just about anything!

Malabrigo Sock. Size US 1 needles. This pattern.

I like to wear my hats sideways. Have you noticed?

Look What I Found!

I remember him e-mailing it to me. I thought I had deleted it for sure. Imagine my surprise when I found it yesterday while looking for a file in my "laptop labyrinth of files!" Brent as a baby - almost 50 years ago. It's a rainy, cloudy, melancholic Sunday here. Nuri and I are listening to music. Much love to all our blogland friends!

Virginia State Fair

We ended up going today with good weather in the forecast. It was way too crowded and not old-fashioned enough for my taste, but we had a good time!

 

 Sucking up some lemonade. $13 worth to be specific.

Chillin' with a full belly.

 Joyful, happy baby!

Some knitted creations on display - including my blue baby afghan with the blue ribbon.

Noah's lyre & Nathan's spoon on the top right.

Sweater with the red ribbon.