Six weeks to go, but more likely seven, but then again maybe as little as four...
I can still fit my "fat jeans," if I button them below the belly. I'm quite happy with that. I gained way too much with my two older boys. It got a bit uncomfy today and I wondered how to unbutton & unzip my pants gracefully in the middle of a crowded cafe.
I'm still working on creating a beautiful home for the boys to come back to after some weeks away & for the baby to be born in. I feel like I'm a bit behind. I'm only now knitting the third soaker. I have yet to order cloth diapers. (Help, Renee!) I still need to find a comfortable baby-carrier in the midst of too many choices.
I'm happy with some decisions I have made. The sweet little baby things I have found when thrift-store aka opp-shop shopping are just amazing. I've received so many wonderful hand-me downs from friends. I think people go way over when it comes to spending on weddings & babies. It's so nice to have things simple & low-key.
I continue to crave crunchy green salads, which is good & iced Mochas, which is probably not so good. My Hemoglobin had been as low as 7.2 g/dL, but it's now a healthy 12.5 g/dL, which is good. I credit Floradix & Pulsatilla for the ultimate success. I think my body doesn't make the best use of mineral-based iron supplements. Anyhoo. Physically I feel good.
My emotional state is a bit wobbly. I'm mostly happy & cheerful. I've been listening to a lot of music & Lil' Bean seems to like it. I love our new house. But, I'm slightly fearful of the next few weeks. - What if something goes wrong? I'm afraid of more death. It's this silent thing that creeps up on me - usually at night. I don't quite know what to do with it.
The Babynaming Laceshawl Giveaway is still happening. You can find the link here. Looks like I will be sending out lots of lil' gifts to people. ;-)
I can still fit my "fat jeans," if I button them below the belly. I'm quite happy with that. I gained way too much with my two older boys. It got a bit uncomfy today and I wondered how to unbutton & unzip my pants gracefully in the middle of a crowded cafe.
I'm still working on creating a beautiful home for the boys to come back to after some weeks away & for the baby to be born in. I feel like I'm a bit behind. I'm only now knitting the third soaker. I have yet to order cloth diapers. (Help, Renee!) I still need to find a comfortable baby-carrier in the midst of too many choices.
I'm happy with some decisions I have made. The sweet little baby things I have found when thrift-store aka opp-shop shopping are just amazing. I've received so many wonderful hand-me downs from friends. I think people go way over when it comes to spending on weddings & babies. It's so nice to have things simple & low-key.
I continue to crave crunchy green salads, which is good & iced Mochas, which is probably not so good. My Hemoglobin had been as low as 7.2 g/dL, but it's now a healthy 12.5 g/dL, which is good. I credit Floradix & Pulsatilla for the ultimate success. I think my body doesn't make the best use of mineral-based iron supplements. Anyhoo. Physically I feel good.
My emotional state is a bit wobbly. I'm mostly happy & cheerful. I've been listening to a lot of music & Lil' Bean seems to like it. I love our new house. But, I'm slightly fearful of the next few weeks. - What if something goes wrong? I'm afraid of more death. It's this silent thing that creeps up on me - usually at night. I don't quite know what to do with it.
The Babynaming Laceshawl Giveaway is still happening. You can find the link here. Looks like I will be sending out lots of lil' gifts to people. ;-)
8 comments:
Just stopped by to say "Hi."
paula
kind of crazy how these guys left these babies behind, without knowing consciously what was to come, isn't it? that's because they "knew" on a whole other level.
xoxo
Sarah
sweet mama! you are right on track....not behind at all. i am impressed with all that you have been able to accomplish while pregnant and in mourning. hope your kiddos come home soon. that must feel strange to be in the house all alone. how nice for them that you care enough to create a loving space for them to come home to. ;)
I'm with momma rae on this. If you are "behind" then I clearly haven't even *started* -- and my baby is 16 months old! On how to gracefully obtain comfort in pregnancy...invoke pregnancy privileges thereby allowing you to dispense with grace(and buttons,zippers & shoe removal). ;-)
sounds like things are coming together nicely. i dreaded death all through my pregnancy also..i lived from scan to scan to see if the baby was alright as two of my friends had lost babies past 20wks gestation. when i had about 4wks left it got way worse and i couldnt sleep at all and became a nervous wreak... i think after what u have been thru its probaly quite normal to fear losing the people most important to you. hang in there im sure everything will be just fine and dandy!! and when bubs arrives and ur boys are home you will feel totally free from it.
I always begin by wanting to send you comfort and cheer. But you are so very impressive in how you've managed this past year, that I am usually in too much awe of your coping skills to feel I can offer much that will be useful. Maybe it's worthwhile just to tell you that 'watching' how you've dealt with grief has helped me one hell of a lot. I am losing my partner bit by bit to invidious mental deterioration. But I treasure and love all that is left. Our roads really allow only one way: and that's forward.
I still have those feelings and Elijah is 3 1/2 years - I worry that they'll never go away. I think after we lose (or come close to losing) someone, it features foremost in our thoughts - intentionally or not. I admire how you've managed - you really are an amazing person. Don't ever forget that
I recommend the Ergo baby carrier. I have one and if I had discovered it sooner I would have "wore" my babies more.
Its a bit spendy but if you keep it nice it has great resale value or if you keep it you could always pass it along to a future daughter in law someday.
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