A Spiritual Birth

Mondays will be "Midwife Mondays" for a while. How many more "Midwife Mondays" will there be? - I wonder. Another lovely visit today. Most importantly Lil' Bean is well. He can't decide on which side he wants his bum to poke out. Quite the active baby, especially late at night.

I'm in the process of writing my birth invitation - essentially a list of the things I would like present at the birth. Not tangible things. Things like life, strength, safety, wisdom... and so on. It's a nice exercise for positive affirmation. I'll share it if it doesn't get too personal.

Over the past few days I have gotten a few e-mails asking me what I still need or want. What you're about to read might sound unusual. Nevertheless, it is what I desire most.

There's a very spiritual piece for me in preparing for the birth of this baby. William Wordsworth's Ode: Intimations Of Immortality From Recollections Of Early Childhood is a poem I have loved since first hearing it in my Waldorf teacher training years ago. The entire poem is amazing, but this piece I find especially beautiful:

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home:

The main reason for desiring a homebirth for this child is that I want quiet, solitude and familiar surroundings. Just after Brent's death I spoke to a wonderful spiritual teacher who gave me this picture: As Brent is rising into spiritual realms, the child is descending through spiritual realms and the opportunity is created for the two of them to meet. That is how I have pictured father and child these past few months. Sometimes I talk to both of them. In lighter moments I have asked Brent to tell our child to please sleep through the night at an early age. ;-) Birth will be a kind of good-bye for the two of them, although they will always remain connected. The child will arrive on this earth where he will be welcomed with love. Endings and beginnings. Such is life.

I believe that there is a spiritual world. It is gifts from that realm that I desire. The birth invitation my midwife asked me to create today is thus a beautiful exercise for me. If you want to give us a gift, you can light a candle and/or speak that beautiful part of Ode to Immortality when I'm in labor. I have a feeling I will still have enough time to hit the "Publish Post" button on a previously saved blog entry once that time comes. It might sound like something insignificant to you, but to me it truly is what I need most.

Thank you for your blessings!

P.S. Remember the Groaning Cake? My midwife says it tastes best with homemade cream cheese icing. Sounds good to me...